Pre-tox. Detox. Re-tox.

We’re about to go to a 5-day wedding celebration in Wyoming. The detailed schedule of events arrived a few days ago. There’s a non-stop party planned for every day, starting with outdoor fun in the Tetons like hiking, biking, kayaking and fishing.  As the days move towards evenings, the fun moves to rodeos, bowling, cowboy bars, bbq joints and bonfires ’till the morning hours. And these are just the run-ups to the Main Event on Saturday. Which promises more and better of the same.

I’m currently in pre-tox. It’s that state of mind where you just know you’re going to feel not-quite-whole for a few days after the partying. It’s a mix of anticipation and dread, a shouting match between the college-age call to party-like-mad and the stern voice of restraint. Pre-tox, for me, means I’m for sure in with the partying. but I also have anxious, spoil-sport, self-scolding thoughts about  the mandatory detox: the recovery program that will start as soon as we’ve come home and unpacked our bags.

A good friend just sent this picture from his iPhone. His wife  came home from a few days at Tahoe with her sisters. The story is that one of her sisters called her out for staying in pre-tox mode far too long. If you’re in full pre-tox, it just isn’t nice to drag your pals there, too. It kinda messes up the party if you’re awash with aftermath-anxiety while still ordering beers with the gang.

The party's still going...

Pre-tox leads to detox. Swearing off booze. Cold-turkey, too, on the satisfying, greasy, salty stuff that is the natural pairing with party-level drinking. For some of us, detox includes dessert and carb avoidance, with maybe some non-fat frozen yogurt permitted if you stick with the program for more than 48 hours.

How long can man or woman survive on undressed salads, mineral water, green tea…while saying “no” to carbs, cupcakes, cookies, beer, wine and cocktails? Not long, if any of these conditions apply:

  • it’s summer
  • you’re on vacation
  • you have house guests
  • you are a houseguest
  • it’s holiday time
  • you’re celebrating a rite of passage:  e.g., birthdays, weddings, new babies, finalized divorces, etc.

Which leads us to the next state-of-being: RE-TOX.

I can hardly wait to get it on in Wyoming.


2 thoughts on “Pre-tox. Detox. Re-tox.

  1. ugh I thought this was just me! I’m currently on vacation at my aunts wine laden house. I’m sitting here already plotting and planning my detox as I push for another bottle of chardonnay to be opened with lunch!

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